January 2011
87 posts
Regina Spektor - Your Honor
Regina is exactly...
WatchDave Horwitz - 2011 Acting Reel
Look ma, I’m employable! (Edited by Elisha Yaffe)
Watchmrscottdavis:
Puppy Bowl Halftime Speech by Oh, Brother!
Here is that brand new sketch video I was talking about, a couple days early!
I wrote this for my sketch team.
Directed by Paul Bartunek and starring Kenny Stevenson.
Perfect.
http://tv.gawker.com/5741359/how-to-do-almost-anyth... →
svnnh:
zarnoldpalmer:
I believe thats Dave Horwitz bangin’ out the ketchup.
It IS Dave Horwitz- and, with Dave’s help, I’ve learned to save so much time!
Wow. Gawker uncovered the first commercial job I ever booked. And someone on Tumblr recognized me. This is all strange and wonderful stuff, Universe. I’ll take it.
Slumber Party: A One Act Play
BECKY: Slumber party! A bunch of teenage girls are going to come over in about five minutes to have a seance. DAVE: Dear ouija, does Brad like meeeeeee???? BECKY: …….N…O…oh God- i SWEAR i’m not MOVING it! DAVE: AHHHH!!!! BECKY: Awww, Trisha, i’m soooo sorry! Don’t throw up! DAVE: Oh my god, Kelly your dad is cute! Is that weeeeeird? BECKY: DONT DATE MY...
Some Of My Favorite Always Sunny Dialogue Ever
From “The Gang Reignites the Rivalry” (Season 5): The gang have just explained how they poisoned their rivals in a flip-cup contest years before. Mac: He doesn’t have any poison. Charlie: I don’t have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar. Frank: There’s poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What’s in the jar with the skull and...
Rabbit Hole of the Day: Acting Reels On Vimeo →
Are you ready to feel weird about everything, and possibly spend an hour doing so? Watch a handful of acting reels and see what happens to your brain.
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Things For Introverts To Say To "That Cute Person...
Working on your screenplay. Reading your dogeared copy of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Sipping your soy chai latte. Sure, but what are you REALLY doing in that coffee shop? Casting secret glances at him/her, that’s what. If you could only SAY SOMETHING, surely you would be united forever in meet-cute harmony, right? Here are some guaranteed ice breakers that’ll start a...
I Got My Vyou To Work Again! I Can Answer Your... →
FINALLY, right?
WatchWatch Kevin Smith say “And Shit” 200 times. From “Kevin Smith: Too Fat For 40” (VH1)
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I Should Be On Skins
I could play Craig, the shitty/creepy older brother of one of the teenage cast members. I’d still live in the same town, but I’d have my own apartment. Well, the back house behind my folks’ place. I could show up where all the kids are hanging out. Here are some lines I could say:
“Hey can you stop doing sexy stuff? I’m trying to do some light calisthenics over...
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On Dating The President
Last night, I walked into the tail end of a conversation that a friend was having with a pretty girl. They said their goodbyes and she walked away. He then, looking pained, said, “I wish she wasn’t a lesbian,” to which I replied, “she’s not,” because, she isn’t. She’s straight, which is something he couldn’t accept, and this lead to a new...
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perrygrant asked: what kind of kid were you at high school?
kellyegan asked: Thanks, will do once it stops stinging like a bitch.
kellyegan asked: Thanks, will do once it stops stinging like a bitch.
My Friend Justin and I On Backhanded Compliments
DAVE: “Surprisingly handsome” is a really great one. Like… your personality is awful, so i’d expect you to also look ugly. JUSTIN: It’s so inherently backhanded. “I was expecting a complete uggo! But you’re not completely uggo!” DAVE: I mean, you’re a LITTLE uggo, but not an ugg pug! And not a Goofy Gary. JUSTIN: Not an ugg pug mug on this...
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Things I Thought After Waking Up After Taking A...
(*for the first time)
Who Am I? (*Dave)
Where Am I? (*my bed)
What Is this feeling? (*awake-ness)
What are these? (*hands)
What are these? (*feet)
Why am I alive? (*why are any of us alive?)
What is happening to my body? (*it wants to pee)
Why are my legs made of jelly? (*they aren’t)
Are they seriously not? They totally feel like jelly (*pretty sure, bro)
Hate to be a dick, but I...
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My Golden Globes Recap
(*Note: I missed the ceremony and I don’t know any of the nominees, so I’ll just make it all up)
*OMG! What was Christina Riverton wearing? She looked like a sack of moldy oranges! No wonder Jimmy Butler broke up with her on the set of Lady Firefighter II: Son Of Lady Firefighter.
*Okay, Andy Franklin looks GREAT. His TNU: LV costars should take a page from his style book and keep it...
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The Walkmen - The Rat
Haters are so jealous when I do laundry.
Like, “Yeah, I stepped my sock game up. YEAH those are boxer briefs, what of it? YES, that IS the whitest Hanes T-shirt you’ve ever seen. What’s that? You don’t see that small ketchup stain on my pants anymore? That’s because it’s GONE, BITCH!”
Actual Impulse Buy List From 7-11 Last Night
-One Simply Orange Juice.
-One Simply Limeade.
-One quart 2% Milk
-One medium sized “Lots of Lemon” Tea (extremely hot)
-One individual cup of Lucky Charms
-One Coconut Water juicebox
-One Package Strawberry Pockey
-One Naked Superfood Smoothie
-One Banana (free with purchase of Lucky Charms cup)
Total: $17
I’m kind of sick so I went in for tea. Look out, mild cold!...
Elvis Perkins - While You Were Sleeping
While...
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Tangled Up (Forever) In Blue (Jeans)
Bob Dylan and Neil Diamond mashup.
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