April 2011
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WatchMy VYou response to “I have a bf, but have to travel a lot. When lonely, I come to your blog or here. Am I emotionally cheating??” I think I handled it very professionally.
Watchatencio:
High Road Trailer
Here’s the movie trailer I’ve been working on this week. It’s for UCB co-founder Matt Walsh’s new comedy, High Road, a totally improvised and truly independent film. The movie does not have distribution yet and is premiering on Friday as part of the Newport Beach Film Festival (come down and see it, I’ll be there). It’s a funny, charming movie, and it’s got a great...
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WatchSomeone on VYou accused me of being in love but being too chickenshit to say it out loud. I showed them.
Man, Malory Archer really hates that Trudy...
Smog - The Well
I gave a couple-a hoots, a...
brandeyes-deactivated20120829 asked: Stupid question that I can't believe I'm asking: do you tweet? I enjoy your tumbles, but I don't go on here as much.
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Beulah - Emma Blowgun’s Last Stand
I am in...
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Do you think that the man Michael Jackson's...
My friend wants to know.
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My Aunt KNOWS Comedy
TV: (Jimmy Kimmel Live is on) Next on the show we’ve got Norm MacDonald! AUNT: I HATE Norm MacDonald. BROTHER: You know he’s one of Dave’s favorite comedians, right? AUNT: I don’t believe you. He’s horrible. ME: What? (She laughs through the whole interview) AUNT: I’ve never seen that comedian before. There’s another Norm MacDonald that I hate. ME: No...
I'm In Massachusetts!
That’s right! I managed to keep all mention of this off of the internet until now, because it was a surprise for my dad’s 60th birthday. And I snuck up the driveway, knocked on the door, had my brother stand in the window so it’d look like it was him, and he swung the door open to see ME! He freaked out! Now I’m on the East coast for 10 days, and I’m glad that they...
I was looking for a job and then I found a job and...
Morrissey didn’t know what he was talking about. This feels great. I can’t wait to replace my brake pads and buy sneakers.
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Review: Last Night's Dreams
We’ve got two very interesting dreams that both deal with live performance. Let’s get right to them!
1. My good friend and I are performing a sketch at a live show. It’s sort of a theater in the round that looks like a converted college lecture hall. It’s the exact same sketch as the one I wrote and performed in my actual sketch show last week, although this time the crowd...
Last Night's Party, Summarized
FRIEND: So what are you going to do?
ME: I’ll probably wait until I’m drunk enough and then go talk to her.
FRIEND: Ok
(pause)
ME: Oh my god, wait, I can’t believe I just said that with a straight face! I mean, It wasn’t a joke, but I can’t believe I just said it so matter-of-fact. Like, that I felt literally no shame in saying that to you, even though it’s...
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Shrimpanzee!
Is he a giant shrimp that lives in the jungle?
Is he a teeny tiny monkey they lives underwater?
It doesn’t matter what it is. Either way, it’s going to make me a very rich man.
Clem Snide - I’ll Be Your Mirror (Velvet...
The Lyrics To Yes's Owner Of A Lonely Heart
…are the exact opposite of the line from Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam, “it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
Yes’s lyrics = “Owner of a lonely heart, much better than the owner of a broken heart.”
So these bleak ass motherfuckers are like, “actually, it’s better to just go around totally alone...
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Quotes From My Brother: On Rebecca Black
BROTHER: She’s a star. ME: Yeah, for the next week or so. BROTHER: She’s been going strong for the last 3 weeks, bro. She’s here to stay.
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