June 2011
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What do you think Ben Savage is doing right now?
My guess? Eating a plain turkey sandwich.
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“Yar its baller yo, If you wanna look g, buy it. fits well, looks good, makes you...”
– direct quote from a comment left on this sweater for sale at the Urban Outfitters website.
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The Delta Spirit - Trashcan
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ALL OF THE LIGHTS
Stop lights Traffic lights Flashlights Strobe lights Flood Lights Neon Lights White Lights Black Lights Infrared Lights Marlboro Lights Recessed Lighting Track Lighting (seriously, honey, we should really look into this for the den!) Lightsabers Light Brights Lightcycles from Tron and Tron: Legacy Lifesavers (specifically the Tropical kind) Ladysmith Black Mambazo
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Watch“What would you do if you met Justin Bieber?”
vyou.com/theidiotking
Signs Your Man May Be Cheating
tessastrain:
While you’re getting hot and heavy in the bedroom, he accidentally calls out the name of a horse racing tip.
When you try to talk to him about the future of your relationship, a bunch of aces fall out of his sleeve.
You notice text messages on his phone that appear to be answers to next week’s chemistry test.
He seems distant and defensive when you question him about the extra...
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Andrew Bird - Simple X
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The Moon Summer Spectacular
themoonshow:
Please join us fora major lunar event on Thursday, June 30, at 9PM. This very special show will take place at 92Y Tribeca in Manhattan, New York. Admission will cost you $10 (buy tickets), for which you be treated to this fantastic lineup of entertainers:
Kurt Braunohler and Kristen Schaal (brilliant comedic maniacs)
mc chris (world-famous rapper)
Todd Barry (silent killer of...
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Today's List Of Things That Make Me Feel 100 Years...
“Based God” jokes or “Based God” the Rapper guy Odd Future Sexy Teen Wolf Tumblr
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Health Class: 10th Grade
In high school, I was required to take a health class long after I, or any of my peers, should have had to. As a class, we had already learned about childbirth, puberty, safe sex, etc, as much younger kids, but we still had to soldier on and learn about our ever changing (although less drastically by now) bodies. I remember one class in particular where we were encouraged to ask whatever question...
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I Started A List Of Fake Warped Tour Band Names
…And I realized that nothing I could write would be as ridiculous or funny as the real names of the actual bands that are playing this year. I feel about 100 years old looking at this list. What a horrible list of names that wouldn’t have even made it into a college comedy sketch about “emo” culture in 2003. Step up your collective game, 17 year olds in bands!
-I Set My...
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That awkward moment when you realize you're...
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Reggie Watts - Get Your Shoes On
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"Are you an actor?"
Someone (a probably late 30s white man) tapped me on the shoulder at UCB and asked me that last night. It was weird because that rarely ever happens, and it’s doubly weird to be asked that at the theater where you perform regularly. I was pretty taken aback and maybe even mildly flattered at first. My response, however, was something like, “aaaah, yeah… sure. Kind of. Yes!”...
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A GChat Conversation With My Officemate, Nick...
NICK: Here’s a link on tortas ahogadas http://www.laweekly.com/2009-12-17/eat-drink/drowning-not-eating/ DAVE: Thank you. Here’s a picture of a beagle puppy.
NICK: Awwww, cute little guy! DAVE: Yeah he’s just a little dog. Still young. NICK: I don’t know a lot about dogs. Is there a chance he will grow up to be a cat? DAVE: I don’t know. I might have to ask my...
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Last Night's Dream Nemesis
Last night, my brain created the stomach churning Lorne Lucy, a redheaded, skinny, mildly effeminate lawyer who pretended not to remember meeting me and bore a striking resemblance to an old college roommate of mine. Lorne was, in my dream, the made up boyfriend of the last girl I attempted to date, and at the fictional outdoor/woodland comedy and music festival where my dream was set, he was...
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The English Beat - Rotating Head
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Someone just (jokingly) demanded a written apology...
Here’s what they got:
I am sorry for dreaming big and living large. I am sorry for feeling my feelings and making no apologies. I am sorry for contradicting myself. I’m sorry that I’m sorry. But most of all, I’m sorry for stealing the declaration of independence. Sincerely, Nicholas Cage
French Kicks - Living Room Is Empty
Like a tired...
ALL HAIL LORD KRAMDAR
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The Synopsis For The Human Centipede II
Is CRAZY. Like… bad crazy. I blame you, everyone who saw the first one on a dare.
The principal focus of The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) is the sexual arousal of the central character at both the idea and the spectacle of the total degradation, humiliation, mutilation, torture, and murder of his naked victims. Examples of this include a scene early in the film in which he...
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The Brian Jonestown Massacre - The Ballad Of Jim...
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