June 2012
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The First Girl I Ever Liked
(NOTE: You will get more out of this if you cue up the most twee song you can find. In a pinch, any Belle and Sebastian tune will do)
When I was in 4th grade, I started to notice girls. Well, girl, specifically. Jackie (LAST NAME REDACTED BUT SERIOUSLY HER FULL NAME IS PERFECT IN A WONDER YEARS-Y KIND OF WAY) was nice to me and she did gymnastics and was very short and had dark brown hair. She...
heroesandheroines:
This is a video of us playing Two Weeks live at a party. We asked all our friends to shoot it with their phones and it looks dope! Maybe you’re in it! Tell your friends!
Listen to the recording of Two Weeks here!
Come to our FREE record release party at the Echo! This Saturday at 5pm!
This band is great, and one of these cell phone angles is mine!
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Dialogue From That's My Boy (I'm assuming)
(I haven’t seen it, but these are safe guesses)
FIANCEE: “I can’t marry a man with a naked lady tattooed on his BUTT!” SAMBERG: “I don’t have a (*looks in mirror*) AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
SANDLER: “Aw, geez, son. It’s almost like you’re MY dad, and I’M your… boy?”
SANDLER: “Happy bachelor party, kiddo. I hope you...
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What if?
What if, at the premiere of the last Twilight movie, the whole cast is ecstatic, eyes wide with celebration, because they never have to make another shitty, incomprehensible mess of a young adult snooze-fest ever again, and Kristen Stewart is already dreaming of the important indie movies she’s going to make where she plays a graffiti artist in the 80s or a stripper junkie in the 70s or a...
wipethatfaceoffyourhead:
Last Night, on an unforgettable ‘Dave on Dave’…
For Your Consideration, a tv show I didn’t know I was on.
Anonymous asked: So I just moved back to LA and now that I'm an "adult" and all, I don't know the cool spots in LA. What are some good bars/restaurants a la The Model in Allston, or other places in Cambridge and Brighton [I just moved back from Boston]. Thanks!!
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Enjoy this new feature of my blog, The Mid Day Random Humor Minute! Gotta love that random humor!
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June Fourth Is Cursed
June 4th, 2004
I was living in Allston, MA, and was walking to get a copy of my apartment key made at a place a few blocks from me. When I approached a crosswalk, I saw a brown sedan waiting to make a left onto a side street. I acknowledged the driver and kept walking. Suddenly, a beat up white pickup truck peeled around the sedan and collided with me, sending me flying about six feet back,...
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New Sex Positions!
The 96 - facing away from each other, standing. Butts to ankles.
The Down Low - Secretive gay sex aboard a submarine.
The Oops! All Berries - Sack only.
The Jay Leno - An 11:30pm hate fuck with NBC on in the background.
The Bill Clinton - Putting your dick in a saxaphone.
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Brothers
Buster: I jumped through a plate glass window, on a date!
Michael: Well, women love to laugh.