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It’s 1:30 AM. I just woke myself up. I tried very hard, and it finally worked. Trying to pry your eyes open in the middle of a dream (or nightmare, or any other kind of ambiguous mental state) is exceedingly difficult for reasons I don’t know.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had some form of sleep paralysis. It’s a sensation where you’re dreaming, and the setting of the dream resembles the room you’re in, even if only slightly, and usually it seems as though there’s a figure standing over you.
Just now, I was dreaming that I was reclined on a couch, staring at the blinking display of a VCR. I would drift in and out of feeling like I was actually awake, and soon I heard an alarm faintly going off. The next thing I knew, I was face to face with two figures, who were standing over me, holding an object a few inches from my face. I didn’t know what was happening, I just knew that I HAD to wake up.
Whenever this happens, I have to focus very hard. I have to just pretend like all I have to do is open my eyes, even though my eyelids feel like they’re being held together with superglue. It’s always a situation like this, where I feel like if I don’t pry my eyes open I’m going to die.
Except, I’m never in any danger and nothing is ever wrong. I experience a violent kind of full body vibration feeling that I can’t shake until I’m fully awake, but that’s as bad as it gets in the waking world. I’ve tried to read into this stuff and it mostly confuses me, but who knows, maybe there’s a book out there that makes more sense than my scrambled subconscious. The real story is that I’m writing this so I can be awake for a while before I go back to sleep. There’s usually less of a chance that this will happens again immediately if I can keep myself up for a few minutes.
Okay, back to weird, weird sleep.