My name is Dave Horwitz.
I am a writer living in LA. I perform at the UCB.
My friend and I created DEALBREAKER and we wrote a book about it. I make videos too. Oh, and I
Tweet. And if that wasn't enough, I'm on Vyou.
DEHorwitz@gmail.com

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8th January 2012

Text with 22 notes

The World Series Of Conversational Subtlety

ANNOUNCER: Hello sports fans, we’re here with five time WSOCS Champion Beth Samuels, who has been EFFORTLESSLY telling men at bars she has a boyfriend without making it seem like an overt brush off! Beth, tell us, how DO you do it?

BETH: Well, first of all thank you. My technique is simple. I wait for the guy to mention an activity that my boyfriend and I participate in as well. For example, watching “The Wire” on DVD, hiking, or seeking out quality Vietnamese food—

ANNOUNCER: Seems like a standard approach—

BETH: Let me finish! I first mention that I ALSO participate in that activity, and start talking about my involvement with it, and only after the conversation is off to a good start about our shared enthusiasm for said activity, will i drop in a b-bomb.

ANNOUNCER: B-bomb?

BETH: That’s what I call slipping in the word ‘boyfriend’. For example: “I’m halfway through season 4. My boyfriend finished it before me, so I’ve gotta make sure he doesn’t spoil anything for me. What season are you on?”

ANNOUNCER: Wow. Flawless execution as always. Thank you so much for speaking to me today, Beth.

BETH: You’re welcome! My boyfriend also likes speaking.

Fin.

Tagged: One act play

  1. nurble reblogged this from theidiotking and added:
    friends, who happens to bartend more...less full-time, recently equipped
  2. joseguillen reblogged this from theidiotking
  3. theidiotking posted this