My name is Dave Horwitz.
I am a writer living in LA. I perform at the UCB.
My friend and I created DEALBREAKER and we wrote a book about it. I make videos too. If that's not enough, I also
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DEHorwitz at gmail . com

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1st February 2010

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Have you seen the movie Yes Man? Oh, you haven’t? Well, it’s about what happens when Jim Carrey starts saying yes to everything. Literally everything. He doesn’t turn down anyone, or anything. There was one scene where he agrees to a barfight that I found myself laughing at. It was silly and fun. Then he gets a blowjob from an old lady. YUP. A BLOWJOB. FROM AN OLD WOMAN. At some point in the middle of the movie he agrees to install some shelves for his elderly neighbor. He finishes installing the shelves, and then this OLD WOMAN realizes that she doesn’t have any money in her purse to pay him, but she really wants to make it up to him SOMEHOW. Um. Then she looks at him and gets a glint in her old lady eye and moves in on him. She starts rubbing Jim Carrey’s shoulders and telling him how handsome he is. He’s all like “UMMM, hang on lady…” but she’s already pushed him down onto her bed and unzipping his pants. This is all framed from the waist up. He’s still protesting when they cut to a shot that includes  a view of the bedside table. On the bedside table, there’s a glass of water. If you’re two steps ahead of this movie, like I was at all times, you’ll know comes next. SHE TAKES OUT HER DENTURES AND PLACES THEM IN THE GLASS OF WATER AND THEN STARTS BLOWING JIM CARREY. We’re still holding on a shot of Carrey from the waist up while he’s contorting his face and making “I’m getting a blowjob” noises, as well as asking her, “how are you doing THAT?” or something equally traumatizing. Basically, he is really enjoy this toothless blowjob from an old woman. Annnnnyway, WHAT THE FUCK? Please someone explain to me what this scene was doing in this movie. This harmless, safe little PG-13 comedy that might not be funny (it’s not), might feature another annoyingly quirky Zooey Deschanel character (it does, she leads a running/photography class and plays shows at Spaceland), and might include a scene of Jim Carrey saving Luis Guzman from committing suicide by playing Third Eye Blind’s Jumper for him (yes, yes it REALLY does), but in no way is it anything but a middle of the road, apathetic, cash grab of a LIGHT comedy. EXCEPT FOR THAT OLD LADY BLOWJOB SCENE! What a completely out of place and off putting scene. What a first draft joke. What an irresponsible, unfunny, awkward piece of movie. Shame on you, Yes Man. PS: later in the movie Danny Masterson (yes, he’s in it too, I’m sorry) is also talking to this old lady (she’s back!), and he seems nervous and excited. She asks him if he’d do her a favor, and he very quickly agrees. Then the 2 leave together, the implication being that she is going to give another man oral sex. PPS: Shame on everyone for making this movie, and shame on me for watching it. PPPS: Spoiler Alert.

Have you seen the movie Yes Man? Oh, you haven’t? Well, it’s about what happens when Jim Carrey starts saying yes to everything. Literally everything. He doesn’t turn down anyone, or anything. There was one scene where he agrees to a barfight that I found myself laughing at. It was silly and fun. Then he gets a blowjob from an old lady.

YUP.

A BLOWJOB.

FROM AN OLD WOMAN.

At some point in the middle of the movie he agrees to install some shelves for his elderly neighbor. He finishes installing the shelves, and then this OLD WOMAN realizes that she doesn’t have any money in her purse to pay him, but she really wants to make it up to him SOMEHOW.

Um.

Then she looks at him and gets a glint in her old lady eye and moves in on him. She starts rubbing Jim Carrey’s shoulders and telling him how handsome he is. He’s all like “UMMM, hang on lady…” but she’s already pushed him down onto her bed and unzipping his pants. This is all framed from the waist up.

He’s still protesting when they cut to a shot that includes  a view of the bedside table. On the bedside table, there’s a glass of water. If you’re two steps ahead of this movie, like I was at all times, you’ll know comes next.

SHE TAKES OUT HER DENTURES AND PLACES THEM IN THE GLASS OF WATER AND THEN STARTS BLOWING JIM CARREY.

We’re still holding on a shot of Carrey from the waist up while he’s contorting his face and making “I’m getting a blowjob” noises, as well as asking her, “how are you doing THAT?” or something equally traumatizing. Basically, he is really enjoy this toothless blowjob from an old woman.

Annnnnyway, WHAT THE FUCK? Please someone explain to me what this scene was doing in this movie. This harmless, safe little PG-13 comedy that might not be funny (it’s not), might feature another annoyingly quirky Zooey Deschanel character (it does, she leads a running/photography class and plays shows at Spaceland), and might include a scene of Jim Carrey saving Luis Guzman from committing suicide by playing Third Eye Blind’s Jumper for him (yes, yes it REALLY does), but in no way is it anything but a middle of the road, apathetic, cash grab of a LIGHT comedy.

EXCEPT FOR THAT OLD LADY BLOWJOB SCENE!

What a completely out of place and off putting scene. What a first draft joke. What an irresponsible, unfunny, awkward piece of movie. Shame on you, Yes Man.

PS: later in the movie Danny Masterson (yes, he’s in it too, I’m sorry) is also talking to this old lady (she’s back!), and he seems nervous and excited. She asks him if he’d do her a favor, and he very quickly agrees. Then the 2 leave together, the implication being that she is going to give another man oral sex.

PPS: Shame on everyone for making this movie, and shame on me for watching it.

PPPS: Spoiler Alert.

  1. mattbraunger reblogged this from theidiotking
  2. calehartmann reblogged this from theidiotking and added:
    hahahahaha! i loved reading every minute of this. all one of it!
  3. theidiotking posted this