My name is Dave Horwitz.
I am a writer living in LA. I perform at the UCB.
My friend and I created DEALBREAKER and we wrote a book about it. I make videos too. Oh, and I
Tweet. And if that wasn't enough, I'm on Vyou.
DEHorwitz@gmail.com

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29th March 2010

Photo with 11 notes

I’m a Real Ding Dong. I stopped at 7-11 to buy a gallon of water (because my tap water is gross and not even a Brita can stop it from tasting like shit), and I emerged with: 2 bananas. 1 pack of gum. 1 “Grab n’ Go” sized bag of White Cheddar Cheez-Its. No water. If at some point in my life I have kids, I’m going to be the kind of dad that forgets to pick up his son from soccer practice because he got distracted by a squirrel in the front yard. So, basically, I’m going to have my kids taken away from me eventually.

I’m a Real Ding Dong.

I stopped at 7-11 to buy a gallon of water (because my tap water is gross and not even a Brita can stop it from tasting like shit), and I emerged with:

  • 2 bananas.
  • 1 pack of gum.
  • 1 “Grab n’ Go” sized bag of White Cheddar Cheez-Its.
  • No water.

If at some point in my life I have kids, I’m going to be the kind of dad that forgets to pick up his son from soccer practice because he got distracted by a squirrel in the front yard. So, basically, I’m going to have my kids taken away from me eventually.

  1. jouster reblogged this from theidiotking and added:
    Jack is what you want. Sort...rare, as far as Cheez-Its go, but so damn good.
  2. ravenzoe reblogged this from theidiotking
  3. theidiotking posted this