"Why Don't You Get A Job" by The Offspring

1st September 2011

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“Why Don’t You Get A Job” by The Offspring

This might be the worst song of all time. I’ve had it in my head for an entire month. I am angry. I am really, really angry and I’m not going to stand for it any more. First of all, the lyrics were written at a sub-8th grade level:

My friend’s got a girlfriend
man he hates that bitch
he tells me everyday
he says “man I really gotta lose my chick
in the worst kinda way”
she sits on her ass he works his hands to the bone
to give her money every payday
but she wants more dinero just to stay at home
well my friend you gotta say

CHORUS—I won’t pay I won’t pay ya no way
why don’t you get a job
say no way say no way no way
why don’t you get a job

So, this guy that is friends with the singer of this band is dating a girl that he hates (a “bitch”) and she just wants him to give her a lot of money, and the singer’s advice to him is to tell her that he’s not going to give her this money. Shouldn’t his advice be to break up with her?

Also, what kind of shitbag girl gets into a relationship with a guy where all she wants is money? WELL, I’ll tell you that maybe the problem is less the freeloading girl and more the BOYFRIEND, because he’s probably the kind of dick to slather on cologne and embroidered butt pocket jeans before taking this girl to a reaaaaal fancy dinner (Benihana) and saying “order whatever you want” and squeezing her butt as she’s getting into the booth. He probably set the precedent that this relationship is totally predicated on material things by having zero personality and dating a girl who ALSO has zero personality.

Look, at the end of the day, even if she stops asking for money, what are you left with? A guy who hates his girlfriend and who spends all his time complaining about it to the bleached hair Offspring guy, and a girl who is lazy, broke, and unhappy, who probably looks like Bridget Fonda in Jackie Brown 10-15 years past her prime. Sound fun? Great! Also, singer from Offspring, if I was talking to you about a girl and you called her a bitch, I probably would be like, “WHOA dude, NOT COOL.” It’s just bad etiquette, is what I’m saying.

Also, those fucking kettle drums make me want to murder someone.

Self Absorption at Discount Prices.

“Why Don’t You Get A Job” by The Offspring