I am a writer living in LA. I perform at the UCB.
My friend and I created DEALBREAKER and we wrote a book about it. I make videos too. If that's not enough, I also
Tweet.
DEHorwitz at gmail . com
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The Worst Picture Of Myself (Ever)
I know that I’m usually pretty deliberate with the photos I post of myself on here. I mean, we all are. Instagram filters are pretty forgiving/flattering, and you can take a hundred webcam pictures before you find your best side/angle. But there are some things you can’t control. One, for example, is a digital camera “photobooth” at a New Year’s party. This thing was literally just a DSLR on a tripod with a backdrop and a digital printer. No booth, no curtain, nothing.
I think this might be the worst photograph of all time. I know that sounds hyperbolic, but look at it: the lighting is bad, the backdrop is ugly, my face is all shiny, and it’s clearly on a delay. As in, we were probably posing perfectly 2 seconds before, and then moved just so slightly that weird chin lines and eye slits were created. Our faces almost look digitally distorted to be more hideous. This picture pains me to look at, but it’s also important. Perhaps it will inspire me to be less vain, less excited to see a party picture of myself right after it’s taken, less quick to post something on the internet.
Or it’ll inspire me to delete this in five minutes and replace is with a high angle picture of me frowning in a well lit room. You know, whatever comes first.
EDIT: I would also like to add that it looks like I’m making a Bill Cosby face. Like from the opening credits of his show. You know what I’m talking about.
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Last time I was home, I found evidence of the very beginning of my awkward phase. 5th grade is really something, isn’t it?
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“Watch out, Little Dave. Your awkward phase is coming in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6…”
