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I can’t believe I almost forgot this, but when my last serious girlfriend and I broke up, like finally FINALLY broke up, I ended the conversation by bowing to her. I don’t even remember why or how, I just remember that I did it. I think it was out of a lack of any other words. We had literally exhausted all of the words, and I just needed to bring it to some kind of end that didn’t involve any prolonged contact (everyone knows the old 5 minute sad hug that turns into a sad kiss, right? That one’s a killer).
I wish I could remember if I was laughing when I did it. I think I probably didn’t laugh until I came up from the bow to face her again, if at all. It’s funny to think of how exasperated I must have been to punctuate what was, up to that point, one of the saddest moments in my entire life, with a stupid joke for solely my entertainment.
If that sounds like an immature way to end a relationship, I submit that it is significantly MORE mature than sitting in a hatchback for four hours finding different ways to say the same three things over and over and over. Besides, bowing is a sign of respect in many cultures, and a sign of disrespect in almost none.
Although, were I wearing a cap when it happened, I probably would have tipped it instead.
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It is impossible to get through to the unemployment office, so when you do get an operator, you know it’s special. I called in at 8:27, three minutes before they opened, and Tasha answered. At one point we got disconnected and she even called me back! That is UNHEARD OF! We talked for 45 minutes, 15 of which were spent reopening my old claim. The rest of the time we talked about:
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So, basically, I lived the first 10 minutes of a Wes Anderson movie in real life.
