My name is Dave Horwitz.
I am a writer living in LA. I perform at the UCB.
My friend and I created DEALBREAKER and we wrote a book about it. I make videos too. If that's not enough, I also
Tweet.

DEHorwitz at gmail . com

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11th September 2012

Text with 183 notes

Chris Brown Neck Tattoo-gate 2012

Okay.

Here’s what I think didnt happen, but wish DID happen because it would confirm that CB is a lunatic sociopath instead of a stupid sociopath: He wanted to show everyone how sorry he is for what he did, and thought it to be perfectly appropriate to tattoo a woman’s battered face on his neck as a way to live with the shame every day.

Here’s what I think absolutely didn’t happen at all, because I can’t even imagine a universe where someone would do this: he got his exes battered face tattooed on his neck to prove that he doesn’t give a fuck about anything and that he’s not sorry. 

Here’s what I think DID happen, which would confirm that in addition to being an abusive, narcissistic sociopath, he’s also a fucking idiot: he wanted a tattoo of a mexican sugar skull (look it up), and failed to see the possible connection/resemblance between a stitched up skull face, and the face of a woman he brutally assaulted. That, in addition to the fact that the tattoo is fresh and hasn’t properly healed, makes it look a whole lot like what everyone is saying it looks like.

So he’s the worst, for sure, but I think mostly, in this instance, he’s also the dumbest.

Tagged: celebritiesfake newshuman garbage

28th May 2012

Photo with 7 notes

Everybody watch Jamie Kennedy’s Heckler, now available on Netflix!

Everybody watch Jamie Kennedy’s Heckler, now available on Netflix!

Tagged: celebritiesTwitterJamie Kennedy is a celebrity

28th February 2012

Photo with 12 notes

J. Gold has no idea we wrote him into a pilot.

J. Gold has no idea we wrote him into a pilot.

Tagged: celebritiescameowork

6th February 2012

Audio with 100 plays with 17 notes

MIA - Internet Connection

This is your well timed, monthly reminder that MIA has a song on her last record about the time her internet went out in her house. Just to make it clear that flipping the bird during the Superbowl is one of the least offensive things she’s ever done. This song is still number one on that list.

Tagged: insane peopleMIAcelebrities