I am a writer living in LA. I perform at the UCB.
My friend and I created DEALBREAKER and we wrote a book about it. I make videos too. If that's not enough, I also
Tweet.
DEHorwitz at gmail . com
Theme by nostrich.
Photo with 25 notes
I tried to give a porn spambot relationship advice but she had a one track mind. She’ll figure it out eventually.
Photo with 33 notes
Um, can you say much needed ego boost? HELLO ladies! Welcome to my blog. I’m flattered. Maybe you’d let me take you out for some steak tacos and decent conversation?
Photo with 13 notes
OH NO. Does anyone on the internet know how to do damage control? Apparently I was “nude at party” and someone was there to snap a quick pic. I am devastated. I was raised right and my parents would disown me if there was a naked pic of me floating around somewhere. I am willing to do anything to fix this. I will pay any amount of money to Almita Mia, whoever that is. I don’t remember being naked at a party, or in public, ever, but I do know that it’s better to be safe than sorry and I will be more than sorry if my butt or even worse… BALLS were on the internet. I am NOT clicking that link either. I’d die of shame! I don’t know what to do, I’m seriously considering changing my name and going into hiding. I’m RUINED. PLEASE HELP!
ALTHOUGH… it does say it’s a “cool” photo. Maybe there was some flattering shading. Fingers crossed!
Photo with 13 notes
![This is by far the greatest spam email I’ve ever received.
David Horwitz,
Buddy, did you know that Bob Chapman broke up with lifetime sweehearty last month?
And the actual reason for that was simple - they had not F..U.C..K..ED for absolutely long piece of time.
Thats it, only then Bob Chapman saw this: [gibberish link]
But this was too, fcuking, late.
“lifetime sweethearty,” a thing that not even a 1960s TV robot would say.
“Hmm… what’s a normal enough name to drop to fool this guy into thinking this is a real email?” “Well… everyone knows a Bob Chapman!”
I wish I knew how long that piece of time was.
Acronym-ing “fucked” so that is seems like a government organization.
And then a link. What is that link!? Is it a link for Bob to learn that he’s still attracted to his former sweethearty? What could possibly be on the other end of that link? An offer for a pill that makes you want to make sweethearty love to your lifetime sweethearty? I’ll never know, because I don’t want a trojan horse virus.
Too little too late, Chapman! Should have clicked that link before the ol’ SH (Sweethearty) took off with the mailman!
Dear Bob Chapman, good luck. I’m sure another lifetime sweethearty is right around the corner. And I hope you two F..U.C……K all the time.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4uh71xwF61qzxhq4o1_500.jpg)
This is by far the greatest spam email I’ve ever received.
David Horwitz,
Buddy, did you know that Bob Chapman broke up with lifetime sweehearty last month?
And the actual reason for that was simple - they had not F..U.C..K..ED for absolutely long piece of time.
Thats it, only then Bob Chapman saw this: [gibberish link]
But this was too, fcuking, late.
- “lifetime sweethearty,” a thing that not even a 1960s TV robot would say.
- “Hmm… what’s a normal enough name to drop to fool this guy into thinking this is a real email?” “Well… everyone knows a Bob Chapman!”
- I wish I knew how long that piece of time was.
- Acronym-ing “fucked” so that is seems like a government organization.
- And then a link. What is that link!? Is it a link for Bob to learn that he’s still attracted to his former sweethearty? What could possibly be on the other end of that link? An offer for a pill that makes you want to make sweethearty love to your lifetime sweethearty? I’ll never know, because I don’t want a trojan horse virus.
- Too little too late, Chapman! Should have clicked that link before the ol’ SH (Sweethearty) took off with the mailman!
Dear Bob Chapman, good luck. I’m sure another lifetime sweethearty is right around the corner. And I hope you two F..U.C……K all the time.
Quote with 17 notes
Hi
Goodday, please don’t be offended, I must first apologize for this
unsolicited mail to you, I am aware that this is certainly not a
conventional way of approach to establish a relationship of trust,
truely i haven’t seen you physically but i have my desire of going
into good relationship with you, I saw your contact information when
am searching for a last name similiar to my late father business
partner on site, so I came across yours I decide to reach you through
this medium of exercise, because i really need a mentor / gaudian and
your the kind of person i will love to know. i will be very happy to
read your reply then i will send you my picture for better
understanding and also tell you more about myself.From: Miss Sharon
