I am a writer living in LA. I perform at the UCB.
My friend and I created DEALBREAKER and we wrote a book about it. I make videos too. Oh, and I
Tweet. And if that wasn't enough, I'm on Vyou.
DEHorwitz@gmail.com
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Parker Posey And The Curious Case of The Vibrating Underwear
**WARNING: THIS IS NOTHING**
In 2006, 2 films were made. One, a broad comedy, was called The Oh In Ohio. The other was Fay Grim, a sly, strange Hal Hartley spy dramedy with elements of comedy and suspense.
Both films starred Parker Posey.
The Oh In Ohio was not memorable, even with a strong supporting cast including Paul Rudd.
Fay Grim was fairly compelling, if thoroughly odd.
HERE’S WHERE IT GETS STRANGE.
BOTH FILMS feature scenes where Parker Posey’s character is talking to other characters while a vibrating device (some sort of sex toy in The Oh In Ohio, a cell phone in Fay Grim) goes off in her underwear.
IN BOTH FILMS, Posey’s character is unable to do anything about this.
In the Oh In Ohio, she’s giving a presentation and can’t leave to fix the problem, in Fay Grim she’s in some spy-ish crisis thing* and doesn’t want to be found out.
TWO films.
TWO VIBRATOR-STUCK-IN-THE-UNDERWEAR SCENES
ONE actress.
ONE YEAR. 2006.
What does it mean?
Also, I told you this was nothing.
*lay off me, I haven’t seen the movie in 5 years.
UPDATE: shutterbuggery just reminded me that it was NOT a sex toy in The Oh In Ohio, it was a pager. So it’s even MORE similar!
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(Drunk) Words With (Drunk) Friends
- FRIEND: Do you like her?
- ME: No. I mean, probably a little. I kind of like everyone.
- FRIEND: Do you like me?
- ME: Sure. Why not?
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This Is Nothing 8/10 Edition
-Dr. Moyer’s Animal Soda: Fake Soda Name Nothing
-I had a dream last night where I was hanging out with a girl (from real life) that I KNEW had a boyfriend (in the waking world), but I kept waking up (in the dream), checking Facebook (still in the dream), seeing that she was no longer listed as “In a Relationship” (In the dream), but doubting that fact and waking up again (in the dream) to check. This went on until I woke up for real and checked that status for real (just in case), and it was unchanged: Extremely Modern Romance Dream Nothing
-Pepsilepsi: Soda Induced Seizure Nothing
-I’ve had the same lingering headache since I got over an all day hangover on Saturday. The ghost of John Jameson is haunting my brain: Alcohol Induced Broken Brain Nothing
-“Sometimes love don’t feel like it should…” That’s probably not love, dude: Mellencamp Nothing
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This Is Nothing
Recently, while eating food with my friend Robyn, I was telling her about how I have to take my right sandal off when I drive, because I bought $14 sandals that I only wear on the most hungover of weekends. They fit weird, especially on my driving foot, which makes accelerating scary and inconsistent. She told me that she loved that I wanted to tell her that, because it’s essentially nothing. It’s not a real story, it’s not relevant to her or anything we were talking about, and it’s not immediately interesting. Yet, she said that she enjoyed hearing about it, and reading about all the stuff I write about on here that falls into that category. So, here’s some more nothing that I’ve compiled in my brain recently. It is all nothing.
-You Down With CassiO.P.Peia by Astronomy By Nature. Song title and artist combo joke. Not funny enough to tweet. Category: Joke Nothing.
-The feeling of relief I experienced after vomiting all morning from a terrible hangover, when I opened my fridge to find a bottle of Gatorade I’d bought as a prop for a shoot the previous weekend. I NEVER have Gatorade, and it’s perfect for dehydration. I chugged it, and immediately puked again. Category: Puke Nothing.
-When I was 14 or 15 I rode my bike a lot, but didn’t know much about how it worked. I also was very impatient and lazy. The bike had a persistent squeak, and rather than oiling it, I kicked the front tire once and it seemed to work, so I would do that from time to time. One time I kicked it while going downhill and my foot got wedged in the spokes, sending me flying off the bike, and the bike flying over my head and ultimately landing on top of me. Category: Careless Teenage Nothing.
-I find the names of once semi-popular actors Saffron Burrows and Balthazar Getty to be ridiculous, and therefore interchangeable. Category: Hollywood Opinion Nothing.
-I don’t have the App store for Mac, so it told me to download Snow Leopard, but if you don’t have Snow Leopard, you can’t access the App store, which is where you buy Snow Leopard. Category: Snake Eating Its Own Tail Nothing.
If you’ve enjoyed this nothing, there’s a lot more where that came from.
